Living in our Civilized World

Information may not be reliable

We live, for all intents and purposes, in a civilized world.

We are conscious of not speaking too loudly in public spaces, not getting into someone’s “personal space”, we mind our “please” and “thank yous” and generally expect those around us to conform to similar conventions. Whether we make sure to hold the door open for someone right behind us, or say “Bless You” after a stranger sneezes, we pride ourselves for being creatures of polite habits; people that have been brought up in a world where these behaviors are expected.

It is precisely these habits of conformity and civility that a criminal will prey upon.

A person with nefarious intentions will look to assault, mug, molest or otherwise disturb someone they believe will not kick up too much of a fuss.

Indeed, it is their general profile to target a person who will offer little to no resistance, while keeping the whole situation as low profile as possible.

Studies in the psychology of an attack victim have shown that people who are accosted, actually go through a period of denial first. They cannot fathom that they are under attack…

What did they do to cause this? This must be some mistake? Perhaps they think I am someone else? Civilized people don’t jump to the conclusion that they are being attacked…it simply does not compute. While all these thoughts are rampantly running through the victim’s mind, their predicament is worsening (whether it be a physical attack, or the requirement to change their venue to one that is far more precarious). Once the gravity of the situation hits them, there is a choice that has to be immediately made: succumb or fight.

Again, civilized people who are not used to the idea of hitting or kicking a person, will be hard pressed to find the catalyst to launch combatives, even when faced with dire alternatives.

Interestingly, martial artists and self defense students have the same problem. Consider your training environment…you never hit your partners with real force and if you, by chance, hurt them, you apologize profusely for the damage. The notion of using full contact on your would-be opponent is always spoken of in theoretical terms, but never physically practiced in the studio.

So what will you do when the real threat is presented and your only course of action to save you or a loved one is to use brutal and direct force to a targets’ head, groin, knee, throat, etc? Can you shift gears without that moment’s hesitation? Certainly this moment of all out aggression is not how we are wired. You must give yourself permission to be aggressive. You must understand that your survival may depend on shouting out “GET AWAY FROM ME!!”, making a scene and becoming highly animated, regardless of your surroundings. You must also allow yourself to punch, kick, bite, claw, gouge, stomp and otherwise create as much damage as is humanly possible.

Although this may seem obvious, you must realize that at the moment of truth, when the victim’s groin is exposed for a kick, eyes are available for a gouge, or arm available to bite, most hesitate. This occurs not out of cowardice, but out of a visceral response to causing direct and permanent damage to another. The vast majority of people have never done so before. That moment’s hesitation may be what causes the attacker to gain the upper hand and continue the assault.

Never forget that your attacker has bad intentions and will most likely have no problem hurting you or someone you love. You need to forget your civilized manners and give yourself permission to become brutal, aggressive and violent as necessary.